Sheri

So, I wrote her a letter, a love letter. Did it on stationary, cologne, everything but neat handwriting because that's something I've never been able to do neatly. Hopefully she can read it.. I mean, it's not THAT bad. Anyway, I think that's going to be the last overt act I do until/unless she tries to communicate with me. If this is her way of breaking up, to just stop talking and let it die slowly without closure, then that's pretty messed up. I don't deserve that, it's cruel, I didn't do anything to warrant all this pain. I guess maybe that's also why I still think there's a chance she really just needs time to get over the depression; that's real and not some cruel way to end a relationship.

So, I'm pretty depressed and my friend Misty calls and tells me her mom died... a week ago! Her mom, Karen, had cancer that got pretty bad. A few months ago, Misty took her on a cruise, just the two of them, and they had a great time. It meant so much to Karen, and Misty. I've been praying for Karen, and I know she's much more comfortable now. So, Misty told me she's been really sad but glad Karen isn't suffering anymore. So, she's depressed about her mom, I'm depressed about Sheri, and so she asks me if I'd like to go out with her and Kat on Saturday. Brilliant. We both need to get out and have some fun, or at least try to. Misty said she's going to make me have fun. You'd think I was the worse off, but she's the one who lost her mom. But Misty is really strong, I admire her for her inner strength. She happened to mention about how she had given a situation to God, and He came through for her. I hadn't told her yet about how I had given my situation to God, so hopefully mine will turn out good too.

I don't expect to hear anything from Sheri anytime soon since she rarely checks her mailbox. Plus, I put a picture of us in there that she hadn't seen before the Friday I last saw her, and that hasn't produced any reaction. So, why not go out and have some drinks Saturday night? Plus, I haven't seen Misty in forever, so it'll be nice to see her. Kat is cool too. Maybe Mickey, Misty's hubby, will come too, though he'll probably stay home and watch the two babies and maybe Kat's daughter too. What a handful. Speaking of which, Misty says her boobs are huge. I mean, they were already big, but now that she's had another kid and breast-feeding, they're producing milk and so they're really huge. So anyway, it'll be nice to see Misty and Kat, maybe that'll help to temporarily take my mind off Sheri.

I just wonder still how long I should wait before attempting to move on. Maybe I'll just wait until I think I'm over her, that way it won't be like I'm rebounding. Maybe I'll just wait a couple weeks to see if she tries to contact me at all, if she doesn't, then I'll just go ahead and do my own thing and forever wonder why the woman of my dreams suddenly disconnected from me. Yeah, wait a couple weeks and then move on. After all it's already been a month since she started distancing herself from me. Ugh, she said thanks for being patient, that she just needs some time. Well crap, how much time? I know the answer is that she doesn't know. How can anyone know. Am I doing the right thing by not trying to communicate anymore after the letter? I don't want to harass anyone, and if she doesn't want to talk to me, then I feel like that's what I'd be doing. So confused, she's depressed and I don't want to make it even rougher on her. I guess I love her enough to not talk to her? Heh, that's pretty funny. But she needs to do whatever it she needs to do, and she wants to do that without me. I just hope when she's better, that she'll let me know whether she wants me again, good or bad because closure is good to have when something is dead. We'll see.